Lil’ Guardsman is a point-and-click-style adventure game where you take control of Lil, a twelve-year-old girl who lives in the Sprawl with her guardsman dad. One day you have to cover for your dad (who reminds me so much of Ryan Reynolds for some reason) at the guard shed as he needs to go and bet on a local goblinball game, and it’s from here that things start getting very interesting for Lil.
The main objective of the game is to work through shifts in the guard shed at the entrance to The Sprawl and accept or deny people’s (or creatures) requests to enter. You have a few options to do this at your disposal, including just conversing with them, to which you can respond by doubting them, accepting they are being truthful, or just teasing them. This sometimes brings out information that you can use in conjunction with the toolbox. Inside are five different tools to help you in your decision: a metal detector, an x-ray machine, a decoder ring, a truth spray, and, randomly, a bull whip! You also have access to a phone where you can call one of the three royal advisors for advice on what to do, which is sometimes helpful and sometimes not. You have three turns to use a mixture of these to make your choice. At the start of a shift, you have to read the updated writ, which gives you instructions on certain matters. For example, in one shift, I was told that no goblins were to be allowed in; otherwise, I would have to pay forty gold for each one I did let in. Of course, in this shift, you meet a goblin desperate to enter, as he has family in the sprawl that he needs to get too. It’s a hard call, especially if you’re low on gold. You are rated out of three stars for each individual based on your deductive skills and whether you made the right call or if you missed vital information. Your overall ranking for the shift affects the amount of gold you will earn.
This gold can be used to upgrade your tool slots to hold more power crystals, which is what powers them. This gives you the chance to use the same tool multiple times during one shift. You also get given a time machine—yes, you read that correctly—a time machine that gives you the chance to rewind time if you feel you made a bad call on a particular individual. There are no restrictions on how many times you can use it; you can jump back in time as many times as you like to influence different outcomes from your previous meeting. These power crystals and the time machine play a major part in the plot, so I’ll leave it here as I wouldn’t want to spoil anything for you.
The game continually tests you with tough calls from tough situations, and I generally spent too much time deliberating with myself on what to do, as Lil’ Guardsman is as much about choice as anything else. You are constantly being asked to make decisions, not just for yourself but for others too, including your dad, the princess, and, of course, who you let in or deny at the gate. There are some crazy situations that Lil will have to make decisions on, like who the princess marries and who helps fight in an upcoming war.
Most of these decisions will have an effect on the game and steer your playthrough to what I can only believe are many different outcomes for yourself and the people around you. It must have taken many months of planning from the developers to conceive of all these branching paths, and I am sure many different choices lead to the same outcome, but unless you test each one, you’ll never know as there are so many.
Each level in the game is a day in The Sprawl. You’ll typically wake up in The Twisted Sisters Tavern, where you live with your dad, and start your shift at the guards shed. Once finished, you normally have a few different locations to visit, depending on what has occurred during your shift. Navigating this section is pretty straightforward, with locations marked on a map for you to select with your cursor. Easy peasy! There is a fifteen-second load for each location, which does not sound much, but when you flick between different locations in a short period of time, it can get tiresome. Your day always ends at the tavern, and when you feel you have done everything you can, you go to bed to end the day. It’s here that one of my favourite parts of the game occurs, where you get a rundown of each decision you made and the effects it had on the person, or The Sprawl. There is some of the funniest writing in this section, constantly making me laugh at what happened to these people. I didn’t see many outcomes go the way they did, and it was always a treat to see what had happened, thanks to me and Lil.
The writing is also a highlight for me, with each character coming to life with their personalities shining through, including a stoner wizard by the name of Echo, the man who’s lost his hat and is on a mission throughout the game trying to find a hat that was better than his old one, the Irish goblin decorator, and the elf popcorn seller at the stadium that ran an illegal gambling racket, are just some that come to mind. I mention the end-of-day briefing, which contains some of the best writing in the game, but there are some wonderful funny dialects to be read between the characters. It would be remiss if I didn’t mention Lil’s writing in particular, as she has some of the best lines, which are delivered through her wonderful, cocky, but never annoying tones. She really has this spark about her, which is relayed beautifully through her writing.
But it was the visuals that attracted me to Lil Guardsman in the first place. You can see the Monkey Island influence right away, with beautifully drawn cartoon characters with over-the-top designs. Take Lil, for example, with her enormous hair, which gives her this amazingly distinct look. You’ll meet a quite influential character at one point that has clearly been inspired by a Klingon from Star Trek—the hat man drawn with a distant look in his eyes on his search for a hat—and I could go on and on. You can see the detail and time the developers have put into the designs of the characters, and this is true for the backgrounds too. They are very well realised, with everything you’d expect to see. They were also busy; none felt empty, which really helped to visualise The Sprawl and its locations.
I think its important to note that things will get mixed up. Just when you feel the gameplay is getting slightly tired, a plot line comes in that gives you new mechanics to play with. It was a good spot by the developers, as it was a perfectly timed and welcome change. One was having to do a night shift, which brought a whole different range of hopefuls. From vampires to a walking tree and a werewolf, I found myself revitalised to carry on as these brought even more intriguing and hilarious outcomes.
Every character is voice-acted here, with a whole range of different voices that fit in perfectly with the characters. Some say not so much, but that’s part of a gag, and it just works perfectly. I must commend the cast for putting in some incredible performances, and Lil herself is voiced to perfection.
I can’t recommend this game enough; it’s funny, well plotted, heartwarming, inventive, and, most importantly, fun. The Monkey Island vibe will hit you like a tonne of bricks, but do not be alarmed, as there are no obscure puzzles here. The challenge is to see what effect the choices you make have on the game itself. With the gorgeous artwork, fantastic voice cast, and that amazing writing, only a cold-hearted werewolf would come away miserable. Give it a go, and you are most likely going to be found giggling away to yourself and walking away with a smile on your face. What more could you ask for?
Lil’ Guardsman
Release Date: Out Now!
Platforms: PC, Nintendo Switch, PS5 & Xbox Series S/X
Price: £17.99
Many thanks to Plan of Attack for the review code.